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Thursday, 02 August 2007
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It's a very long story, and I'm not going to try and explain quite yet...not til I have a few more letters and little more information.
I haven't forgotten about this site though. I'll update again soon.
Thursday, 12 July 2007
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Dear Rachael,
First of all, I miss you so much. I think I miss hearing your voice most of all every night.......
My first letter. Most of it was him telling me what's he's been doing each day and a bunch of crap the Marines are throwing at him about paper work. His medical paper work apparently never made it to Parris Island and it's causing a lot of issues. I hope it doesn't fall back on him just because the government can't communicate. I've been in touch with his recruiter who is a gunnery sergeant and he's been so nice to me and assured me that it won't be a big deal. I really hope not.
Anyways I just got back from Florida and that letter was waiting for me. I finally got the right address, and now I've got about 6 letters packed into one envelope in our mailbox. I hope it gets there by the weekend. I still miss him like crazy, but I'm also starting to get used to it. I have done the long distance thing before, and being able to write him letters has helped more than I thought. It's all just a matter of settling into a certain pattern, I think. And counting the days until I can see him again.
When I was in Florida, I went into a dress shop and tried on a wedding dress just for fun... and it ended up being perfect ( and only $350, which is very good for a wedding dress). I had the veil and everything and everyone in the shop was into it. I definitely felt the way I want to feel on my wedding day. Earlier that morning I had really been missing him, but having that feeling of being a little closer to marrying him gave me something to look forward to, rather than something to miss. That's what I have to do, find the things to look forward to. Remember the things I love about him, remember the things he does to make me laugh.
And there's so many things. Things that seem so much more important now. Things that make me love him more all the time.
Tuesday, 10 July 2007
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You stay up for 16 hours
He stays up for days on end.
You take a warm shower to help you wake up.
He goes days or weeks without running water.
You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.
He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.
You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends.
He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.
You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.
He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.
You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.
He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.
You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He patrols the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.
You complain about how hot it is.
He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.
You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.
He doesn't get to eat today.
Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.
He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean.
You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.
You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.
He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months.
You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.
He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.
You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.
He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.
You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet.
You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.
He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting.
You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.
He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded.
You see only what the media wants you to see.
He sees the broken bodies lying around him.
You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
He does exactly what he is told even if it puts his life in danger.
You stay at home and watch TV.
He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat.
You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.
He tries to sleep but gets woken by mortars and helicopters all night long.
If you support your troops, the click "reply to poster" copy all the codes, and repost the bulliten.
If you don't support your troops well, then don't re-post. You won't die in 7 days, your love life won't be affected, and you won't have the worst day ever. You don't have to repost. It's not like you know the men and women that are dying to preserve your rights.
Friday, 06 July 2007
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I'm leaving for Florida today! I almost hate saying this, but it will be good to have a change of scenery. Not so many reminders of him. The first couple days, I was alright not hearing from him, but now it's starting to drive me crazy. I'm not used to no phone call, no letter, no nothing. Even the year and a half we did the long distance thing, I'd still hear from him, know he was ok. I know I'll get past this, and I'll get used to a new pattern, but right now I just desperately need something new.
I should be getting some sort of a letter from him by the time I get back. I think that little bit will help a lot. People have been telling me so many horror stories about what he's going through that I just need to hear him say "I'm ok and I love you". Even if that's all he wrote I think it would be reassuring. I just need some sort of connecting feeling with him, besides writing letters I can't send yet. I really feel closest to him at night, when I know he must be falling asleep too. And I know that if at no other point in the day, he does think about me then.
Next time I update, I'll hopefully have a letter.
Wednesday, 04 July 2007
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I'm going to start using this site publicly now, mostly because it has a purpose now. I really am a Marine's girlfriend. I feel proud saying that, but I also feel the overwhelming distance. I've been away from him before, seperated from him, but this is different somehow. I feel as if he's in another world. I don't know what he's doing or feeling. It's not so much a physical distance as it is a mental distance. When two people can read each other so well, it's strange not to know how they feel. Sometimes at night I try to imagine him falling asleep thinking of me while I think of him. It's a moment of reaching for a connection with him.
During the day I sometimes wonder what he's doing, if he's thinking of me. I try to keep my mind busy with other things, but he always pushes into my thoughts. I wonder how often I push into his...
I love him so much. Almost more now. The obscurity of the life ahead of us is both exciting and scary. I know I can be strong enough for this, for him. I think I am realizing that the life of a military wife/fiancee/girlfriend is one that is constantly developing both independence and fierce loyalty. It's a contrast, but it's an essential. I know that this will change him a great deal.... and I think maybe it will change me too. I just hope we can both find the familiar again when we are together. His prescence in my life has always been a gift that I am determined not to go without.
WhereMyHeartWillBeAlso
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- Name: Rachael
- Country: United States
- Birthday: 2/23/1990
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 9/1/2006
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About Me
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I'm Rachael, and this site is a place for me to talk about my life as a USMC girlfriend. I've been with Kent for over 3 years and I know he's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. He's on Parris Island right now and I wanted to begin this journal to remember everything about being a Marine's girl from day one and to meet other girls who know what it's like to love a Marine.
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